Sunday, September 12, 2010

The BC Review: Machete

So for those of you who wouldn't categorize yourselves as Quentin Tarentino fans, I will start this review by stating it's probably best that you leave this one alone. Of course, on the other hand, if you are Tarantino fans, then have at it!

Robert Rodriguez's Mexican-vigilant flick, Machete, does not disappoint!

To understand Machete, you really need to look back to 2007's Grindhouse Presents films: Robert Rodrigquez's Planet Terror and Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof. Though, not original Grindhouse flicks, the 70's-inspired horror films gave us our first glance at the now feature film, Machete (as it originally appeared as a fictitious trailer in the former).

As the story goes, an ex-Federale seeks revenge against a notorious Mexican drug lord, only to become unwitting involved in an on-going battle between the money-grubbing, power-seeking (and really, for all intents and purposes) morally bankrupt Texan politicians, red-neck border vigilantes, and "the Network," an off-the-grid, underground railroad of sorts, for those seeking to cross the border illegally. Machete give us a taste for revenge (with the added bonus of Cheech Marin as a gun-toting Catholic priest!). And of course, as the title predicts, machetes are everywhere.

Now, I know there's been a bit of discussion over the supposed political messages presented here, but for this review, I will say this, Machete is what it is, a totally over-the-top bloodbath complete with ridiculous images (to include naked women) and copious amounts of gore. Let's not read too much into the so-called "political message" (leave that for another discussion) and just sit back and enjoy.

But, what else could we expect from Rodriguez? Machete gives us what we asked for - a full-length, completely crazy feature to fill the void left from Planet Terror.

Machete stars a litany of Hollywood who's who to include:

- Danny Trejo (quite possibly the ugliest man on film these days) as the title character "Machete"

- Robert De Niro, as the morally reprehensible Senator McLaughlin

- Jessica Alba, as the sexy Latina ICE officer

- Michelle Rodriquez (aka Lost's Anna Lucia) as "She"

- Stephen Seagal, as the notorious Mexican drug lord

...and even, Lindsay Lohan, as (no surprise here) the slutty daughter of a prominent Texan. The only thing I think that could have added to this film is the addition of my new favorite "bad guy" - Mickey Rourke.

Machete comes recommended for fans of Tarantino and Rodriguez. This, I cannot emphasize enough. Strap yourselves in for one wild, machete-wielding, ride!

The Bee Charmer Review Rating: C

New Feature:Watch the Trailer