The BC Review: Machete

So for those of you who wouldn't categorize yourselves as Quentin Tarentino fans, I will start this review by stating it's probably best that you leave this one alone. Of course, on the other hand, if you are Tarantino fans, then have at it!

Robert Rodriguez's Mexican-vigilant flick, Machete, does not disappoint!

To understand Machete, you really need to look back to 2007's Grindhouse Presents films: Robert Rodrigquez's Planet Terror and Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof. Though, not original Grindhouse flicks, the 70's-inspired horror films gave us our first glance at the now feature film, Machete (as it originally appeared as a fictitious trailer in the former).

As the story goes, an ex-Federale seeks revenge against a notorious Mexican drug lord, only to become unwitting involved in an on-going battle between the money-grubbing, power-seeking (and really, for all intents and purposes) morally bankrupt Texan politicians, red-neck border vigilantes, and "the Network," an off-the-grid, underground railroad of sorts, for those seeking to cross the border illegally. Machete give us a taste for revenge (with the added bonus of Cheech Marin as a gun-toting Catholic priest!). And of course, as the title predicts, machetes are everywhere.

Now, I know there's been a bit of discussion over the supposed political messages presented here, but for this review, I will say this, Machete is what it is, a totally over-the-top bloodbath complete with ridiculous images (to include naked women) and copious amounts of gore. Let's not read too much into the so-called "political message" (leave that for another discussion) and just sit back and enjoy.

But, what else could we expect from Rodriguez? Machete gives us what we asked for - a full-length, completely crazy feature to fill the void left from Planet Terror.

Machete stars a litany of Hollywood who's who to include:

- Danny Trejo (quite possibly the ugliest man on film these days) as the title character "Machete"

- Robert De Niro, as the morally reprehensible Senator McLaughlin

- Jessica Alba, as the sexy Latina ICE officer

- Michelle Rodriquez (aka Lost's Anna Lucia) as "She"

- Stephen Seagal, as the notorious Mexican drug lord

...and even, Lindsay Lohan, as (no surprise here) the slutty daughter of a prominent Texan. The only thing I think that could have added to this film is the addition of my new favorite "bad guy" - Mickey Rourke.

Machete comes recommended for fans of Tarantino and Rodriguez. This, I cannot emphasize enough. Strap yourselves in for one wild, machete-wielding, ride!

The Bee Charmer Review Rating: C

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The BC Review: Salt

I'm sorry to say that after several months of consistent (and certainly, persistent) media hyping, I was sadly disappointed in the latest addition to the spy-family flicks; Salt.

To be sure, the plot line is intriguing... American CIA officer, blond hair, blue-eyed, Evelyn Salt, is surprised by an alleged Russian defector's arrival and subsequent accusation that she is a Russian spy.

Yes, you read that correctly. Salt hijacks us; bringing us kicking and screaming back to what can largely be considered, an easier, less confusing time - The United States vs. Russia. To the film's detriment, the old adage that it is the democratic powerhouse vs. the red communists, is almost laughable. Of course as eloquently stated in one of my all-time favorite spy thrillers, Sneakers, we all know "They still spy on us, we still spy on them", but must we revert to this premise? Surely, in this day in age, there are more intriguing stories to pen?

Despite taking us on one thrilling action scene after another (really, it is one after another, after another to the point of exhaustion), the film fails to really deliver. For many reasons, but most poignant is its lack of humanity. All of the characters are stiff to the point of robotic. This is particularly apparent when compared to predecessors such as the Bourne Identity (even a trained assassin with amnesia expresses a nominal amount of emotion).

This is especially true with our supposed "heroine". Salt is gruff, to the point of grating. So much so, that it is impossible to believe she would exist in reality, let alone maintain a functioning marriage (being some one's wife is intended to lend credibility to her cover story). Jolie's attempt to portray a strong, intelligent woman comes off as a robotic (yes, I'm using this descriptor once again) imitation of what a strong, intelligent woman, would look and act like. And it is just that; an appalling imitation.

Despite her efforts (and admitted, successes) in transcending so-called "traditional" gender roles; Angelina Jolie falls victim once again to, well, her own fame and fortune. That is, Angelina has become such a force in Hollywood and the world at large (see her ongoing humanitarian efforts across the globe) that it is nearly impossible to see her in any acting role and get past the fact that we are watching Angelina and instead be able to focus on the character she is portraying. Maybe it is her larger-than-life lips? Or just her classically beautiful face? In either case, Evelyn Salt would have fared better played by a lesser-known femme fatal.

The supporting characters, played by Liev Schrieber and Chiwetel Ejiofer, contribute some redeeming qualities. Schrieber plays a tough-as-nails officer with a passion for the mission (and really little else), while Ejiofer gives us a nice portrayal of humanity in the midst of nearly robotic colleagues.

As if this interminably drawn up flick was not enough, the "ending" (if you can really call it that) leaves us on a cliff-hanger with Salt running through the woods of Northern Virginia. Indeed, a Salt 2 is more than an idea; it's a promise.

Salt leaves much to be desired, but for fans of the espionage drama it will acquire at the very least, a luke-warm reception. However, in this reviewer's opinion, you might be better off renting one of several markedly better flicks to include, Spy Game, Breach, and Mission Impossible (the 1st installment).

The BC Review Rating: C-

The BC Review: Knight and Day

The latest expected Hollywood “blockbuster” helmed by Hollywood heavy-weight Tom Cruise and his unexpected female co-star, Cameron Diaz, though apparently failing to live up to its studio’s expectations, far succeeded in not only reaching, but surpassing this reviewer’s expectations.

Catching Knight and Day at our local AMC theatre this past Friday night, my husband and I were pleasantly surprised at the significant audience turn out (though certainly not to the scale of our Twilight Saga: Eclipse premier a couple weeks earlier) as well as our overall enjoyment of the film. Knight and Day gave us exactly what we wanted; a light-hearted, if not completely un-realistic, action thriller with a bit of comedic repartee between the two leads.

The story centers on the mysterious Roy Miller, a super-cool and always composed American secret agent. From the opening scenes, Roy is charming, drawing us in early as fans, willing him to succeed in his mission and ultimately "get the girl". Love him or hate him (I think many of us may fall in the latter category), Tom is undoubtedly perfect in a role like this (think back to his performance in Jerry Maguire). In films like these Tom is his best; simply playing his cocky, smooth, exceedingly over confident self. His portrayal of Roy is no different and is frankly perfect. Roy is everything we believe a secret agent should be: daring, sexy, a bit cocky, and always one step ahead of the bad guys.

Following poignantly bad publicity of late (recall Oprah’s couch jumping incident, assorted pro-Scientology sermons, and his latest flop as the Nazi turncoat in Valkryie) at this point it should surprise no-one, Cruise desperately needs this film to succeed. I’m not sure to what level he expects Knight and Day to revive his career, but it seems a good start.

Of course, as this is a Tom Cruise vehicle, I will not lie to you and tell you there were not several actions scenes involving motorcycles, planes, trains, and automobiles featuring death-defying stunts (in the truest sense of the phrase). But in the vain of his Mission Impossible movies (at least the first and second installments), we found ourselves delighting in every minute of it!

In all fairness, Cameron Diaz’s contributions should also be noted. As my husband can attest; a fan of Ms. Diaz’s I am not, surprisingly, she is able to hold her own in this flick. She gives a charming performance as June Havens, the, at first, unwilling participant in Roy’s assorted spy games. I will echo other movie review critics and say, Diaz is starting to show her age (and the obviously over-done spray tan in this flick is certainly not helping), but she still exudes natural beauty and does appear to be growing into herself more of late (I can say I actually enjoyed her in The Holiday and My Sister’s Keeper).

Akin to notable comedies like Wedding Crashers and American Pie, it is difficult to say what kind of staying power the film may have on its own if viewed in the comfort of one’s home (I find the success of comedies are often at the mercy of the live audience viewing experience). Therefore, this reviewer recommends making a trip to the theatre to catch this one in its full glory (if not for the $11.00 or $12.00 evening ticket, at least the $8.00 matinee price).

The film, Knight and Day, provides a fun-filled, action-packed, and comically-proficient summer film and is recommended for fans of both the Action and Romantic Comedy genre. Fans of Tom Cruise should also be pleased with his return to the big screen in a comfortable role.

The Bee Charmer Review Rating: B+

The BC Review: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

For those of you who are not previously aware, I am happy to report that indeed, I have fallen victim to the latest teeny-bopper craze; Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Saga. I've read all four books and up until the other night, saw the first film adaptation of Book 1 via Netflix (and subsequently purchased the DVD), and took my husband along with me for the ride opening night of Book II: New Moon.

For the recently released third adaption, Twilight: Eclipse, we really went out of our way and made an entire evening/night/morning out of it. As it were, on opening night of Eclipse (for an extra special treat) Regal Cinema theatres played a double feature of Twilight and New Moon at 6:30pm, followed by the premiere of Eclipse with a 12:01 am start time. Needless to say (as I'm quite sure you've already surmised), my husband and I were indeed included in this group of so-called "Twihards" and made our way to the theatre for the triple feature.

As the storyline goes, the third in the series brings us back to the love-sick Bella. We continue to follow our heroine through her struggles to hold onto her life's love; Edward Cullen (a literally blood-sucking, but "vegetarian" vampire) while at the same time desperately trying to figure out her feelings for her best friend, Jacob Black (an attack-driven, vampire-hating Werewolf). Throughout the film Bella is torn between the two and of course, must ultimately make a choice (of course, it is pretty obvious who she favors as she desperately tries to persuade Edward into "changing" her, but we go along for the ride!).

As we watch the three struggle through an intense love triangle, an interesting sub-plot develops. When scenes are directed away from the three love-stricken teenagers, an old enemy; a flame-haired, vengeful vampire by the name of Victoria, serves to complicate things... eventually breeding an army of vampires set to destroy the Cullen coven (or at the very least, make a dent) in her desperate attempt to kill Bella. The sub-plot and accompanying battling vampire scenes are perhaps the best of the film and achieve minimal anticipation from the audience. But as this is not the primary storyline, it is no surprise as all ends well at the film's conclusion.

Fans of the Stephanie Meyer books will always see something worthwhile in the film adaptions. Although, despite no-less-than-three different directors for each theatrical adaption, the films pale in comparison to the riveting and utterly indulgent written words of the originals.

However, to rate the three adaptions that have been released so far, Eclipse is decidedly the best. This may be the result of a couple key factors:

1. The "characters" portrayed by the film actors (Kristen Stewart as Bella, Robert Pattinson as Edward, and Taylor Lautner as Jacob) appear to have grown into their roles and thus present a more authentic/organic depiction of the heroine and her two heros

2. The Eclipse storyline itself lends itself better to big screen adaptation than the prior films due to its intense action scenes (vampires not only fighting werewolves, but other vampires makes for some intense reading/viewing)

3. A bigger budget/more "hype". It is very apparent in the newly released film that more money has been thrown at this project (better action sequences, better make-up, etc).

Of course, the less-than-stellar film does not lessen this reviewer's anticipation of the fourth and final adaption of the series. Much to a "Twihard's" delight, Twilight: Breaking Dawn is slated for release as two separate films (Fall of 2011 and undetermined in 2012).

Twilight Saga: Eclipse comes recommended for fans of the series. This point I cannot stress enough. For those uninterested in teen romance and epic battles, this one is best left for the self-described (or as the case may be, self-denied)"Twihards".

The Bee Charmer Review Rating: B-

The BC Review: Robin Hood

I’ve been waiting to write this review foolishly entertaining the idea that I would sit down and watch Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (the rival Kevin Costner version) in it’s entirely and then compose a comparison of the two. Unfortunately, as no less than a full month has gone by and it is likely I may never find time to screen it. Therefore, I’m forgoing the original idea and replacing it with this; a standard review of the Ridley Scott version.

In Ridley Scott’s 2010 version of the legendary tale of the true “Prince of Thieves” we are introduced to Robin Longstride, fighting along King Richard the Lionheart (a term used rather loosely in this depiction) in a series of battles; slowly, but steadily plundering his way back home from the Crusades. Robin Longstride, as he was known prior to his days of merriment, is a worse-for-wear archer who takes his leave after the fall of the King.

Along with some notable friends, to include “Little” John, Robin makes his way to Nottingham wherein he meets Marion, albeit a somewhat less-than-we-are-used-to-seeing-her, glamorous version. In Scott’s rendering, Maid Marion is not a maid at all but rather a matron as she has married some ten years prior (and unbeknown to her, subsequently widowed).

In terms of story, this version veers only slightly from the story we all know, giving us a bit of a prequel to the legend. To his credit, Scott succeeds in giving us some minor surprises, i.e. throwing the French and some nefarious insiders into the mix, but in the end, leaves much to be desired. Although this is not entirely unexpected, it seems Scott took the safe route; deciding against giving us a completely new interpretation and instead providing a litany of action scenes. Of course, as this is a Scott film, the action scenes are as expected; fast-paced, gritty, and always bloody.

Scott’s use of dialogue also leaves much to be desired (Shakespeare, this is not!). But, perhaps in a nod to critics (and a gift to the audience?), Scott fortunately keeps the dramatic love scenes to a minimum.

The presumed (and well-marketed) star, Russell Crowe plays Robin as we would expect; an unrelenting warrior full of vengeance, yet, also a man of heart.

Cate Blanchett, though not originally cast for this role, provides a decent interpretation of Marion. By all accounts Blanchett is one of the few remaining Hollywood actresses not afraid to “let her hair down” as they say, and show a less-than-perfectly-manicured-and-done-up-heroine. She never fails to bring a certain reality to the big screen and usually succeeds in attributing to my ability to suspend my disbelief (check her out as the incomparable Katharine Heburn alongside Leonardo DiCaprio in The Aviator).

Blanchett’s talents aside, the best characters fall a bit farther down on the cast of characters list. Two favorites include Little John (played by Kevin Durand, previously seen in Wild Hogs) and Friar Tuck (played by Mark Addy of the television sitcom, Still Standing). These two, though not given a whole lot of on-screen time, give the audience excellent portrayals of inherently comedic characters.

Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood comes recommended for Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe fans. For those seeking a really creative interpretation of the legend, we suggest adding Robin Hood: Men in Tights to your Netflix queue! Additionally, as the film is billed as a prequel, the ending leaves us primed for at least one more (if not, several) follow-on features.

The Bee Charmer Review Rating: C

The BC Review: Iron Man 2

As part of our celebratory actions following the completion of my husband's last law school final exam of the semester, we decided to head to the theatre and catch the latest in the Marvel-made-into-great-or as the case may be-not-so-great-movies (and their sequels and in some cases, prequels); the much-anticipated Iron Man 2.

Seeking to (expertly?) avoid the drones of fans and movie buffs alike, likely to come out on Friday and Saturday nights, we purchased our tickets in advance and then promptly made our way to the Ballston Regal bright and early Sunday morning to catch the 10am showing. Our plan, indeed, worked - we managed to be one of half a dozen viewers in the theatre this morning!

Without giving too much away, I will say, Iron Man 2 delivered a relatively amusing story with some well-timed, action-packed scenes. We are reminded of our love for Tony Stark and his self-deprecation from the opening scene when we witness Iron Man launch himself from the back of a plane and burst onto the stage at the Stark Expo (a year-long expo demonstrating the latest and greatest Stark inteventions and for a lucky few, up and coming inventors). Robert Downey Jr. gives us the Tony Stark we've grown to enjoy since the first Iron Man and delivers a solid performance throughout the film.

Don Cheadle gives a stellar performance in his role as Lt. Colonel James "Rhody" Rhodes, Stark's long-time best friend. Rhodes finds himself struggling to balance his job and his duty to the United States, with his loyalty to and admiration of Stark. Despite what some may call, a serious lapse in judgement, in the end, the two come together to fight a commone enemy, achieving a few firsts for Iron Man and ultimately saving their friendship. Cheadle, also does not disappoint, and gives a sincere and at times, humourous performance. In this humble writer's opinion, Cheadle is a seriously underrated genius. As with all of his roles (Crash, Hotel Rwanda, and Ocean's Eleven, to name a few), Cheadle brings a certain dignity to the film.

We are also re-introduced to Stark's personal secretary-turned-love interest-turned CEO, Pepper Potts (played by Gweneth Paltrow). The back and forth banter between Potts and Stark, though amusing, is not nearly as integral to the plot line in the second installation of the film series and is somewhat tainted by Stark's secret (I won't spoil that for you - just suffice it to say, keeping Palladium in one's chest is not the healthiest option for a human being).

The best character by far that we are not re-introduced to, but rather introduced to for the first time, is that of Ivan Vanko, in true Marvel fashion, Iron Man's soon-to-be arch nemisis. Played by Mickey Rourke (who's career is definitely on the "up swing" since shocking and ultimately delighting all of us in the The Wrestler), Ivan holds a secret past and knows far too much than anyone should about Iron Man and just how he gets his power. Unlike Pepper Potts, Ivan is indeed, integral to the plot and gives our hero what he needs, a challenge!

Finally, we see Samuel L. Jackson and Scarlett Johannson as the newest additions to the Iron Man family (unlike Ivan, they are clearly batting for the good side). On a somewhat disappointing note, Scarlett fans may be less than impressed with her role as Natalie Rushman. It is certainly evident she may have followed the ideas and extreme dieting her female colleague, Paltrow, espouses (her physical appearance is dramatically altered as a result of her super-hero costume), but the depth of her character was certainly lacking.

Iron Man 2 comes recommended for fans of the first film, action buffs, and the ever-growing hoards of RDJ fans.

The Bee Charmer Review rating: B